How Diffrent We'd Be
by MalfoysBtch22
Summary: I know all us Harry/Draco fans were dissapointed by the epilog so I decided to give us a loophole on how it happened. It begins the night where Harry and Draco say goodbye and will go all the way to their 'curt' meeting at platform 9 and three quarters.
1. Chapter 1

Harry could barley hear his own thoughts over the music and celebration. Dark Lord Voldemort was dead. Harry's prophecy had been fulfilled. In his mind he knew he should be more happy then ever before but for some reason he wasn't. He quickly muttered something about going to the loo to the people around him. The person he identified as Molly Weasly wrapped her thick soft arms around him and for the moment he was glad of the comfort. He pulled free with a quickly fixed a smile upon his face. He walked swiftly through the tight bands of wizards and witches of all ages. He really needed a smoke. He had kicked the habit but there was nothing he craved more then a long drag at that very moment. He made his way out of the great hall and out the main entrance into the cold night air.

He walked down to the water, his feet pressing into the wet dirt creating perfect caste like foot prints. They reminded Harry of the tracks on the Marauder's map. Harry wondered if his father were still around, what he would say? Would he be proud of him?

"For the five minutes I thought you were dead I felt as if I had died too," withered words floated on clouds of air scented by the flowers beginning to bloom in the night. Harry whipped around immediately. There, stood on the high hill of the lake was a boy with hair that shined with moonlight. His eyes were two stars held infinitely in place, to shine on and on without ever dying out like their brothers and sisters in the sky. His lips as pink as candy floss and equally as sweet. Harry couldn't help his heart from clenching up. Before he could catch his breath the blonde was upon him, ravaging his mouth with kisses with that sweet, sweet mouth. Harry lost himself to the passion the blonde supplied in surplus. What he had craved was a cigarette what he got was his other addiction and he was in deep with withdrawal. _Just a few last hours, we gotta make this count_

"Draco," Harry whispered against the lips of his long awaited lover. His hands went immediately to the silky locks his fleshy fingertips so hungered for. A forceful tongue pried apart Harry's lip. Harry had never felt Draco so needful, it drove Harry near the edge with lust. He pushed their tongues together even harder. There was no battle of dominance just hard pressure, as if to reassure themselves the other was there alive, well, and wanting. Draco gripped one hand around Harry's jaw pushing his head back. Harry gasped at the intensity in his lovers star grey eyes. Draco pressed a swift bite to Harry's bottom lip. Harry's lips fell parted in ecstacy as Draco rained smooth kisses down the tanned column of his throat. When he reached the juncture of Harry's shoulder he locked his teeth down on the supple flesh causing Harry to cry out. He soothed the bite with gentle flicks of his tongue. He glided his nose up Harry's neck up to nuzzle his face into Harry's unkempt raven black hair. He inhaled it's clean sweet scent recognizing it distinctly as one thing. _Harry._ He brought his mouth right up against Harry's ear.

"I got off scot free. Harry, we can finally be together." He pulled back, his entire face ecstatic the stars in his eyes glowing brighter then ever before. Harry's heart twisted itself into un-namable shapes. His entire body tightened in pain of what he was about to do.

"I-I." Harry choked on the words. His entire throat burned. Draco's eye brows came together in confusion. He placed his hands on either side of Harry's face. He stroked his high cheek bones.

"Harry? What is it?" he asked concerned.

"I-I can't be with you." At first it seemed as though Draco hadn't heard him. Starlit eyes closed, once, twice, three times before he finally looked at Harry again.

"This is a joke," Draco amended painting on a quickly cracking smile. Harry tried to swallow the growing lump in his throat. "Who put you up to this? Weasley? The mudblood?" A tremor struck Draco's voice.

"It's not a joke Draco," Harry whispered. Draco's eyes closed again. They stayed closed for what seemed like eternity before the golden lashes lifted.

"Come on Harry. We could get a flat. Just you and me. And a dog. You know how you always told me you wanted a dog." Draco's voice trembled. As he reached out for Harry. Harry took a step back. It all sounded amazing. "I thought you loved me. You told me you loved me." Draco bit down on his lower lip almost making it bleed. This was a completely different Draco from moments before. This Draco was vulnerable and ready to break and it killed Harry.

"I do I do, I swear," he stepped forward taking draco's face in his hands.

"Then why can't we be together? Why can't we be happy?" Draco demanded the stars in his eyes burning with hurt.

"Draco, the wizarding world still needs it's hero. There's going to be so many lives to rebuild don't you see?"

"What's that to do with us?" Draco asked his voice transparent as it never was.

"Draco whether or not you want to face it you were a death eater. Even though you were let go with a debt doesn't mean many will forget."

"I know who I am. I've known who I am! I've known since fifth year who I am. And I have to wake up and look in the mirror every morning and deal with who I am!" Draco retorted harshly. "So say it Potter." The use of his surname burned Harry to the deepest center of his core. "Say exactly what it is your side stepping. You can't be seen with a death eater. Golden Boy can't be tainted with death eater grime." Harry reached out to grab Draco's flailing hand.

"Don't fucking touch me Potter!" And that's when he saw it. Silver lined tears spilled from the captured stars.

"It's not just that Draco." Harry's voice shook dangerously. "I don't think this fragile world could deal with me being..."

"A faggot? A cock sucker? A fucking fairy!? Let me tell you something Potter. I may be the one who will have trouble dealing with some of the things I've done. But your going to be the one who will always remember this night, not as the night after you defeated the dark lord but as the night you turned down the person who loved you more then his pitiful life itself for what!? For the sake of those too fuckin stupid and judgmental to see what we have! What we've always had." His chest heaved and he stared at him with burning eyes. Tears poured down Draco's face but he didn't even seem to notice.

His gaze dropped to the floor and he spoke eyes closed. "Saying goodbye's the hardest part, wish we knew this from the start." He laughed a hallow broken laugh.

"I love you." Harry whispered tears sliding down his cheeks.

"What good does that do me now?" he asked softly before turning and walking slowly on shaking legs away from the man he loved, his heart dying quietly in his chest.

"Draco!" Harry begged for the blonde to turn around. The boy continued walking, if possible even more slowly. "Draco please!" Harry sobbed becoming hysterical.

"What more do you want to do to me Harry?" All the malice had seemed to have left his voice. The boy's shoulders sagged as he turned slowly around. He lifted his chin a fraction of an inch. Harry gasped in shock. The beautiful constellation living within the eyes of his love had all but died out. Harry could not speech.

"Do you want me to hold you close and tell you no matter what happens, no matter how much time passes I'll still love you?" Tears ran rivers down Draco's flushed cheeks. Harry felt as though something was crushing him, stealing away his last breath.

"I wouldn't be telling you anything you didn't already know." He whispered and that's when Harry saw it. The stars held in Draco's eyes, had died.

"Goodbye." Draco breathed before turning and walking into the shadows cast by the castle.

AN/

This started as a song fic but I realized there is way more to this story. So I decided to continue it in a different location. Were gonna see where this takes us and hopefully itll come out good. =]


	2. Chapter 2

Harry starred out the window into the rain. The rain was beautiful. No matter what kind of day it was rain never failed to make Harry feel better, calmer, more at ease with himself and what ever was going on around him. He was thinking about going out onto the wrap around porch and taking a nap in the hammock but he knew he didn't have the time. He hadn't been getting a lot of sleep lately, not that he ever did get much.

"Harry are you ready for the party yet?" Ginny walked around the corner. She wore a beautiful silver dress, its accented her pregnancy in a classy way instead of trying to hide it like a vagabond, or so she said.

"Almost I've just got to put my socks on," he said and Ginny laughed. Harry was always funny like that. She thought. How she loved him.

"Ron and Hermione will be here in just a little bit." She said going over and kissing him gently atop the forehead. Harry nodded getting up to find a pair of socks. He caught view of himself in the mirror. Long black dress robes with golden buttons. He had gotten rid of his glasses in exchange for muggle contacts. Ginny loved being able to see his face and further more his eyes. He hair had grown a bit and covered most of his forehead including his scar. It was a bit long it the back and Ginny was always nagging him about his hair length but her never cut it. He stooped under the bed and pulled up a pair of clean white socks. He placed them over his bare feet and walked into the living room where Ginny stood trying to find his dress shoes in their vaste closet of shoes.

"I can never find anything in here." She huffed.

"Gin I hope you haven't forgotten, we ARE wizards." Harry chuckled acioing the shoes so they whizzed into his hands. Ginny flushed red and laughed lightly.

"I guess I did forget." Harry went over and kissed her n her red cheek.

"Get your grubby paws off my sister mate." Ron snapped. The two whipped around just in time to see Hermione hit him with her purse.

"Ron they've been married for years now!" She muttered semi-affectionately.

"Yeah well what ever. Are we going?" He grumbled. Harry and Ginny laughed softly.

"Everyone got their invitations?" Hermione asked.

"What's it matter Mione you and Harry work at the ministry?" Ginny said still amused at Hermione need for organization.

"Still I'd rather not argue with a door man tonight." Hermione said defensivly.

"Yes we've got our invite Mione." Harry rolled his eyes good naturally.

"Okay good, the limo's outside," Hermione said pointing. "Oh and Ginny you look absolutely fabulous I just love that pregnancy glow." She said longingly attempting not to look at Ron. It was no secret she wanted a baby. But Ron didn't believe he was ready to be a father, he claimed he could barley take care of their dog, never mind a baby. He didn't want to do that until he was perfectly ready and sure.

"Alright let's go." Harry said breaking off the awkward silence. They all exited the house and entered the limo making idle chatter, someone had brought up Snape's potions class and it made harry think about his death. While the others laughed Harry attempted a smile. The limo took off and harry continued watch the rain drops roll down the glass and disappear.

* * *

Harry, Ginny, Hermione and Ron stepped out of the limo and were immidiatly swarmed by the paparazzi. Ron got angry immediately and screamed out "Don't you leeches have anything better to do! Leave him alone!" Ginny grabbed him by the arm and began to pull him up the long stone stairwell and into the old muggle ballroom.

"Hello Mrs. Potter, ." The boy at the door aid Seeingly ecstatic at Harry's presence. Harry nodded curtly pulling the invitation from his breast pocket. "Yes of course, go right in." He said enthusiastically. They walked in and for a second scoped out the fancy Christmas party. An impassibly tall tree decked out to the T stood in the center of the ballroom, the floor was littered with fake snow and icicles hung all over the ceiling. It wasn't long before the guests noticed his arrival and began to swarm him. Ginny bathed in the attention while Harry just tried to hold his smile in place.

"Harry!" The minister called. His name was Kaneres Kline. He was a good man, he was five years ahead of Harry and attended Durmastrang for his first three years. His parents had wanted to get an education as extensive as possible.

"It's good to see you Potter." He gave Harry a friendly yet manly hug which Harry easily returned. "How's your holiday been?" He asked with real interest.

"It's been fine, and yours?" Harry answered back politely.

"Not bad, not bad at all." He smiled.

"Harry can I talk to you about something," he said his face turning serious.

"Anything Kaneres." he replied with intrest. "Ginny I'll be right back."

"Alright Harry, don't be long." She said with a wave.

He and the minister walked easily towards the sitting room. They both ordered a glass of fire whiskey and Harry leaned on his forearms with interest.

"Harry I've always trusted your decions and as head of the Auror department I believe you to be some what of a specialist in these sort of things." He said placing the pads of his fingers together.

"Yes?"

"I have filled the position as secretary of materials of dark magic."

"That's great sir."

"Yes, but the person who's filled it has some what of a dark past and I'm not sure if the public would be so well attuned to him. But his classifications are great and the poor man deserves a break."

"That sounds like a fine solution and a grand thing your doing but... to be blunt what's the catch?" Harry asked raising a midnight black brow.

"Well Harry he's and ex follower of... He-who-must-not-be-named..."

"You're highering an ex death eater to be the secretary of materials of dark magic." Harry was plainly shocked.

"He was not a death eater he is what we call a junior death eater. He was only seventeen when he went into service." He said trying to calm Harry.

"Has he got the dark mark or not?" Harry asked planinly.

"He has." Kaneras nodded. Harry thought deeply for a few short moments.

"I say give him a chance but he ought not be trusted, and I shall be sure to keep a close personal eye on him." Harry swore.

"You see Harry this is why you will make an outstanding Minister when the time comes." He grinned brightly at him.

"I'm not so sure that postions for me." Harry said modestly.

"Humbleness is a key quality." He winked. Harry hid a blush. "Shall we rejoin the party I'm sure your wife misses you greatly as does my Fauna."

"Of course." Harry nodded as they rouse from their seats and walked back into the ballroom. They walked back easily towards a cluster of just the most important people.

"If you don't mind me asking, who is you've chosen?" Harry asked unable to help his curiosity.

"He's here somewhere, come with a lovely woman quite a beauty if I say so myself." He replied his eyes roving over the crowd. "Ah yes right over there."

Everything in the room stopped. He had gone deaf to the world. He couldn't feel his fingers. He couldn't think. He knew that Kaneras had called something out from beside him but her couldn't care. And then he was looking into fallen angel eyes. And only one thought could be heard above the screaming match in his head.

_He's so beautiful._

**AN/ Okay there are three options. Normally when I write this tends to happen. My mind twists things and something new comes out of an original idea. So here are the 2 paths we could take. **

**A: We could leave it and contiue on the angst ridden path**

**B: Or we can have a slowly blossoming romance that arises in secret. **

**Your choice just leave me a review with a comment and your decision.**


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